impressonion


Have a very merry white trash Christmas!

Or Hanukkah-Kwanzaa-etc-holiday… you get the PC gist, I’m sure. So remember how I said I could pick up my blog again? Yeah that didn’t happen. Life, why must you insist on being so bloody busy??

The theme of this post (and most likely the whole month) is obviously the most wondrous celebration of the year.  Retail goes bananas, there are pretty lights everywhere, and some people put up messy fir trees inside their homes.

Really now, let’s think about this. Why don’t we take a live tree, cut it off from its true life-force–its roots–and keep it artificially alive indoors just long enough for us to stare at tacky decorations and lights all over it before it starts going bad and we chuck it in the street….. But who says you have to stick to tradition? This sad occurrence is often replaced with other special and unique means of decorating. Said “trees” can actually be created out of many other types of objects, or decorated with nontraditional items.

Personally, I am actually fond of the “live tree” plan, despite how grisly and outright aggravating it can be… But no matter what sort of decorations you prefer, or what type of holiday you celebrate–and no I really don’t care about being politically correct–everyone can surely appreciate the white trashyness of the Christmas trees below.

Monster Truck Demolition Tree

That’s one fancy pile of mismatched crap tires. I also like how the “presents” at the bottom of the tree consist of more crap tires and a couple containers of car fluids. “Thanks for the wiper fluid, Santa!”

Tree Not Moving Until This Hangover Goes Away

The college student’s dream Christmas tree come true. I know so many friends and people my age, white trash or not, who would go ape shit bananas for this tree of drunken debauchery. Fortunately, I don’t know many who would be able to accept such a tree if it was made entirely of Natty Light. As far as presents go, I think this guy was on the naughty list… YUCK.

Radio Shack Tree

This white trash tree is my favorite on the list for numerous reasons. For one, I work with electronics and LEDs are the bright spot in my workday. (O c wut I did thar?) And for two, it’s a tree made of a battery and LEDs! What’s not to love? …Preeeeetty liiiights……….

What’s your favorite white trashtastic Christmas tree? Got any other goodies to show off? Share your impressonions! And merry freakin Christmas!

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